Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Alternate Career Options

After a long period of inactivity (Or as Sidhu would say "long as the serials of Ekta kapoor"), I am back and have chosen to throw some light on the a topic that has been like a hot topic of discussion in many of our daily Chai Breaks. Alternate Career Options :)

Anyone who has been in the software industry for more than a year would definitely agree with me that its a lousy and very inactive profession to be in. Except for the money and the chicks (neither of which we are blessed with) there seems to be nothing else in this profession. You don't get the sense of satisfaction of accomplishing something or don't feel special here. Most of my fellow code coolies(i know the phrase has been plagiarized, but who cares) in the Othlaa gang feel the same and hence went about looking for alternatives.

Luckily, the first thing that we realized is that the problem is with the profession and not with the company. So jumping companies is definitely out of question. You might be happy for a short period but in the long run, its the same old story again. So keeping in mind the goal of eternal happiness, we move on.....

The other option would be to quit the job and continue with our studies in order to get a Masters degree next to our name. This is a very complicated problem. First the question of which field to do the Masters in would arise. Once we find the answer to that, the next obvious question would be as to where to do it? If you are slightly lucky enough(slightly coz there are a lot more obstacles to overcome) , you will probably find that you are just in time to apply to the various entrance exams that are conducted. After writing these exams (and if Lady luck is still with you) you will probably get selected to the first round of the four or five round screening process. If you are a really lucky bastard (not to be mistaken for a racist comment) you will probably make it into the select few who get admission into the elite institutions. And the trouble doesn't end here. You still will have to pay the 7 digit fees that these colleges charge with the hope of earning more money once you graduate. But 90% of the times, what happens is we are stumped by one of the very first googlies that this option throws at you. But the worst thing that could happen is that you go through all the pain and suffering and come out and you find yourself in a crappier position(in terms of job and money) than you were before you started your Masters :)

The next option that I stumbled upon is one which is the favorite of our very own "Ann", (Its a different thing that she has many other options and suggestions too) Opening a Mallu Bakery. I rather not comment about the Mallu part in the idea, since there are a lot of Mallus who will probably go through this blog. But I must accept that this is not such a bad idea. Given the amount of money that our campus CCD fellow is making, this does look like a lucrative business. Add to that we have the stats of at least 10 people(on a average) having their birthday on a particular day. Apart from Birthdays, we also have several other reasons to feast on a Cake, like anniversaries, festivals, on site returns or just being able to catch hold of a Bakra. The only reason that we might not venture into this thought is US. Being the foodies that we are, we would probably by ourselves drive our business into loss :) Hence taking no risks of that sort we ponder on

Being born in a section of the society which is basically the business class, jumping into some sort of business would be the easiest(or most logical) option. But thanks to the lazy life style I have been leading till now, I don't have even a small insight into what goes into the smallest of the businesses. I realized this first hand recently, when I was asked by my dad to sit in the shop for a day when he was away. I had no idea of what was happening there and didn't have the slightest of idea as to what I was supposed to do. All I did there was call up people(Thanks to the corporate connection) whom I hadn't spoken to recently since I had some time for myself. Despite being optimistic and assuming business to be in my blood, I still have to be able to find a person who would invest lakhs into my business and believe that I would deliver. This job would probably be tougher than the job I am currently into.

After having long sessions of thinking(Yes, i actually think) and brainstorming there is usually a single indisputable decision that i usually reach, "GETTING MARRIED". This is probably the easiest, least risk involved, highly logical, future secure, non resource consuming, least effort involved, promising, enjoyable decision that one could possible think of. Thanks to the huge dowry packages that people have to offer. As one of my friend usually says, Why struggle when you can live on the interest that these huge sums of dowry get you. This might probably not be the most ethical thing to do but no one's complaining. So probably after this, I might probably go on the look out for some wealthy fellow who has a lone daughter to marry off :)

P.S. In case you know some one who fits the description above, don't hesitate to call me. Reimbursement of call charges assured.


Bhargav said...

Dude, first of all "Except for the money and the chicks (either of which we are blessed with) there seems to be nothing else in this profession. "
It has to NEITHER of which and not 'either' of which. I almost stopped reading your blog at that point of time. How could you make such an error!!!!!

Secondly, opening a Mallu bakery would be a wrong option for you. (unless you hire Ann as the storekeeper/cashier/baker/whatever) coz you dont have a trace of Mallu accent(except when you say 'naanalla kano'), forget about knowing mallu lang itself.

As far as getting married is concerned, yeah, you'd be far better off than me in this regard, atleast in terms of the money. But hang on, if you start disbursing the 1lakh per head,which you promised Assus Lickus, you'll end up with a paltry sum of money that could be comparable with your current salary.
If you consider it as an occupational hazard and proceed, I have nothing to lose. (I am 1 lakh richer plus i get to visit a shettru marriage).

A Retarded Prole said...

the mallu bakery idea was mine and mine alone so dont u dare make money outta my intellectual property,and you can make that dream easier to achieve if you marry a bakers daughter, then we have all the resources like a bakery etc, we just need a good baker (ahem! for that u don't need to look any further)!
macha moi thinks getting married is the safest option, what with the money which could runn into crores. And dude you forgot about our Subhalakshmi Solution which could very well ruin MT's dream of becoming a Billion Dollar compnay, thats if we manage to rope in Mappi, Sibin, Chubby and all the other geeks. So follow my advice and get married, but soemtimes that ritual adds new meaning to the phrase "gettin fucked!"

Shariq said...

Forget all this ....When are u giving us a treat ..."U STINGY ASS"....What will u do with all the dowry if cant take your friends on a treat..and plz dont say u guys decide and other bullshit...u have to give us a treat...U DECIDE....
I hope all the others agree with me on this :)

Shailesh said...

Man I am only interested in a BIG TREAT for the moment! Nothing like it... I totally agree with Shariq..

kd said...

dude... tell u what u have a chance of not only solving out ur issue but of atleat 2 more fellow othla's.. (MAllu queen and bambaiya dost) in case u still remember the pact and share of SUBALAKSHMI SOLUTIONS.....
been more than a yr since we finalised that.. but the status quo still remains the same doesnt it..... sala all lafda khatam.. just get married and we'll open up the firm.. (might be one of the reasons that could engineer my return to the garden city. :D)

what say.. is the deal still on???

Jackass said...

dude when is the treat for senior engineer + 67 ???

Anonymous said...

dude when is the treat for senior engineer + 67 ???


guru said...

MAga dont forget the 50% Dowry deal !
Even tho it was for my masters , in which i m half way through...i Would still be needin the 50% as i might end up in a "crappier position"(in terms of job and money) as u said.

Bein a 'BILI Shetty' u r Definitely entitled for a HUge Amount !
So ,Bein ur X neighbour n Clsmate i m definitely before all ur collegues with whom u ve ur 1lakh deal.!

So bege MAduve MAadkolo !
i m sure if u say 'Yes' ur parents ll definitely come up with a girl who ll satisfy the "Figure"-S criterion.

Saravanan said...

Cool post buddy... :)